Decluttering Your Home While Mourning The Loss Of A Pet

I am currently mourning the loss of our dog, Chai, after 16 wonderful years together with her. The pain is raw and real, but as I’m finding, life keeps moving. As a decluttering expert, dealing with sentimental clutter is a large part of what I’ve talked through with my clients over the years. As of now, I’ve essentially taken myself on as a client and want to share the process with you.

Since I am currently in the thick of the loss of my own dog, I wanted to offer you assistance navigating the items they leave behind, should you find yourself in this situation now or in the future. I’ve got you. We’re going to find our way through this together.

WHY YOU MIGHT WANT TO DECLUTTER WHILE YOU’RE MOURNING THE LOSS OF A PET:

• to help process / confront uncomfortable feelings

• help with acceptance of the permanent life shift you’re going through

• enjoy memories + stories about your animal

• help give words / discussion to the pain you’re feeling

• discover treasures that are a positive, joyful reminder of your pet

• make an impact in your local community by donating pet goods that can be useful now

• create space for new things in your future - be ready for good things coming!

START WHEN YOU CAN + ARE READY TO.

I was shocked that I was OK with removing /decluttering a few things the same day we had to say goodbye to our dog. I just went with it, checking in with my family if they were OK with me removing some of the items out of respect for them as well. For example, within a few hours I was OK with cleaning, drying and putting away her water dish, food dish and tray. The bowl could be reused in the kitchen, as it only held water prior. The food dish is being saved for a future pet and was relocated to a shelf in the garage for now. The tray we kept in the same spot on the floor in our kitchen and a gentle reminder of her and will likely be the spot a future dog will eat/drink at.

There were many other things that took more time address or I am still dealing with. Over the next few days after she passed, I was able to work through a few more items over the weekend, mostly because some items needed to be tossed or recycled, which was going to get picked up that Monday.

A few more items were dealt with the following week, and there’s a handful of things we are still going through or that we haven’t touched yet. I’ll share more about these here next. But all that to say, do what you can, when you can. It’s good enough. Move at whatever pace you feel comfortable.

WHAT TO DO WITH PET ITEMS YOU’RE DECLUTTERING.

RETURN anything unopened if you feel comfortable doing so.

(I did this with a rug I was planning to use for our dog to help her not slip on a section of hard flooring in our home. I had kept the tags still on and I had saved my receipt, since I wasn’t sure if it was the right rug).

DONATE items that are clean and in good, reusable shape to local animal shelters. Contact them directly to verify what they will accept / current needs. Sometimes their websites do not have the most current info on what is needed most in their shelter, as those needs can shift weekly I’d imagine.

(I sent an itemized list of the adult dog food we had, vitamins, supplements and dog treats via email to our local animal shelter. They were happy to accept all donations I offered. I put the dog food in several 2 gallon bags with the type of food labeled on the outside of the bag. The drop off experience was extremely quick and easy, as they already have a donation drop off location right in the front).

ASK your local animal shelter what things they are accepting. Ours mentioned they could also take towels of all sizes and blankets to keep the animals warm. They cannot take sheets or pillow cases. Those would be better used at local women and kids shelter, for example.

(We did not have any additional items to donate at this time, but by asking them about all the items they take - we now have this info filed away for future decluttering efforts).

ASK + OFFER if your vet will accept returns on unopened/unused medications. Ours would not, but my in-laws have a new pup that will need the same medicine in a few months, so they offered to buy it from us when it’s needed.

(PS. To be clear, I’m not suggesting reselling pet medicine, but our vet suggested we do this since he knows my in-laws dog will need it soon, as he is their vet as well. We’ve been trying to recover the cost of over $200 for an unopened box of medicine we purchased just weeks before Chai passed away. We’d love to be able to put that money aside for a future dog and the supplies that will be needed. Fingers crossed!)

SHRED + RECYCLE receipts or bills from the vet or other related paperwork. TIP: You can only recycle paper-based receipts (they don’t make a black mark when you run your nail over it). Get these items out of your home and free up some extra space in your files, at your desk and on your counters. You deserve this.

(All of our vet bills recently, and a few that were filed away, all had a lot of personal information that needed to be scratched out and/or shredded. I’m only holding onto one receipt currently, as I filed for a rebate on a NexGard product - I’ll shred everything once the rebate shows up).

RECYCLE textiles with a company like Trashie (they are my go to) to divert textiles beyond reuse from the landfill. It’s a paid service I believe is worth the cost if you don’t have a local textile recycling service available to you (like myself). These are items that are beyond donating and someone else can’t reuse them in their current state.

(Things I sent to textile recycling after my dog passed away: the outer layer of a dog bed, extra layers of old blankets and an mattress pad we used to build up one of her beds, and old body pillow that was worn down she used along the wall in one of her beds - all of these items were washed and dried before I shipped them).

TOSS anything that cannot be recycled, cannot be donated, is soiled, damaged and cannot be repurposed. Some things are just trash, and no, you are not a bad person.

(Things we had to toss: the inner bedding layer of a dog bed, foam padding used to build up one of the dog beds that couldn’t be reused, packaging we couldn’t recycle while consolidating treats to donate).

GIFT items to friends or family that have an animal like yours. Be mindful that food and treats will be harder to giveaway, as animals have to be eased into new foods when they are introduced because of how delicate their digestive system is.

(We weren’t able to gift anything of Chai’s, but focused on local donations and textile recycling).

KEEP items that you can still use, repurpose or use in the future if you have space for it. This can also include a few keepsake items you want to have around to remember your pet.

(Items we kept from our dog include: her collar - we plan to make this into a keychain for our car keys, her tray / food / water bowl - these will be used for a future dog when we get one, collar tags for our keepsake box, travel bowls / leash for a future dog).

LINKS Here’s My Declutter For Good links list, including a section dedicated entirely to animals. There’s lots of great ideas for donating to animals to get you started. Make sure to do a search to better support your local community.

REMEMBERING YOUR PET WITH A FEW KEEPS.

One thing we did within our family to remember our dog, Chai, was to create a memorial spot in our backyard that we’ll fill with beautiful flowers in the spring. It’s now a peaceful spot that we can go to and sit with her, while calmly listening to birds and whatever else nature presents. This is also the spot where I sat down, just hours after her passing, I saw my first cardinal sightings while I was crying and missing her so deeply. The cardinals calmed my energy and they grace me with their presence every few days so far. I had no clue that cardinals had spiritual meaning and connection with those who have passed, animals in particular. You can read more about this here if you’re interested.

I’ve also make lockets for myself and my girls with some of our favorite pictures of Chai in them. I wear mine everyday. My girls have bigger ones at their bedside and smaller ones that they can wear whenever they want to, especially on those days they’re missing her extra. I see them kiss their bigger locket goodnight and they say goodnight to Chai and I know it helps them feel close to her.

In the living room, we have a small wooden box with a few things that were hers or remind us of her. The doctor from Lap of Love saved some fur from my favorite speckled spots on her leg that’s in a small container, a few photos, folded up poems that were giving to us, and the collar tags with her name on them. There’s also a sea stone in there that reminds me of Chai’s beach trip with us when she was just a puppy.

Lap of Love also made us a clay impression of her paw that has her name on it. It is so precious. I can put my hand in it anytime and it eases my pain of missing her a bit because it’s such a tangible reminder of her. I plan to take a photo of this clay impression and other photos to make a Christmas tree ornament for her this year so we can have her here with us on our tree for years to come.

Something my girls have asked for is a ‘book of Chai’, basically a book of photos of her. Since I’ve been dragging my feet on family photo books for a while, this is the kick in the pants for me to finally try out some different companies to see which one I like the best. Send all our recommendations in the comments below if you’ve had a particularly great experience with a photo book printing company. Currently I am looking at Once Upon and Chatbooks.

Right now, these are the things getting us through these first dark days without her, that will hopefully sustain us into future weeks, months and years as we continue on without her here. However you want to remember your pet, make sure it respects the physical space you have and brings you joy, however you wish to do it.

In the future days, weeks and months, the decluttering effort will continue. The best I can do is stay open to the pace that my heart can handle, while focusing on creating space to be flooded with sweet memories and physical space for what life brings ahead.

Sending you love + big hugs. // Kristin