Decluttering Clothing With Your Kids Successfully: Focus On These 3 Things
If you’ve ever found yourself struggling to declutter clothing with your kids, you’re in the right place. As I write this, I’m thinking about reading several of the Junie B. Jones books in which she comments about getting into a “tussle” with her mom over things they’re not seeing eye to eye on. Based on many conversations I’ve had with our community here, family, friends and clients, this idea of a “tussle” often rings true when we think about corralling our kids to declutter clothing (or really anything) with us, the parents, the mamas, all of us!
If you’re interested in a different path where we mostly avoid these “tussles”…keep reading! We’ll focus on 3 key things to help you and your kids declutter clothing intentionally, without the overwhelm, with specific strategies that work.
1. MAKE THE PROCESS SMALL + SIMPLE.
What exactly do I mean by this? Here’s a few examples on how to do this.
go through clothing one category at a time - shoes, jackets, underwear, socks, t-shirts, dresses, etc.
review clothing one drawer at a time (not the entire credenza, unless you all have the steam for it)
pick a small zone of clothing to declutter, like one small section in the closet.
set a timer for 10 minutes and focus on one area, category or pile of items only.
have your kids pick a clothing category or 2 of their choice (like shoes and shorts for example).
make it into a game your kids can control to review clothing categories - have your kids write down categories of clothing that need to be gone through on a small piece of paper and toss them in a bowl (like jackets, bags, socks, t-shirts, etc.). Have them pick a category one at a time and take turns who gets to pick! Go through as many as you can and come back to the rest when you have time.
Bonus points and improved results when you combine some of these strategies! But keep it small, keep it simple, don’t look at the entire closet all at once and overwhelm your brain with too many decisions. Also, it never hurts to put on good music while you declutter together! Let your kids alternate being the DJ if you have more than one in the mix!
2. FOCUS ON WHAT YOU’RE SEEING THEM NOT WEAR TO DECLUTTER, NOT WHAT THEY ARE.
Too often I see families trying to dive into an entire dresser of clothing or an entire clothing closet to declutter, when in reality, over 50% (or more) is actively being worn, used and enjoyed - these do not need to be assessed. You can ignore all the frequently worn items completely! Check what’s in the dirty clothes basket after a few days…take note of what’s in there! This is what’s being worn in this current season!
Once I discovered this observation, it completely changed the way I declutter clothing (and honestly everything in my home) from that point on.
DO NOT FOCUS ON DECLUTTERING ITEMS YOUR KIDS ARE USING, WEARING AND ENJOYING (can you tell I’m passionate about this…I promise I’m not yelling)! There’s no point in spending energy on this!
Focus on the dresses they never wear, the boots sitting and collecting dust in their closet, the jacket they avoided all winter, the hair bows they aren’t into anymore.
And oh by the way, the reason why we must check back in on clothing monthly or seasonally (see more details on this below) is because what’s actively being worn (and what actually fits) changes over time. We must expect these shifts and expect to check back in on what’s being worn to better respond to our kids current needs, just like we do for our own needs.
Bonus points is to declutter using the first tip above, combined with the filter of ignoring anything they’re currently wearing and enjoying. Like this drawer below for example, skip over anything in a drawer you know they’re wearing and just focus on the items you notice them never pulling out to wear. Have them do this assessment with you. Ask things like “is there anything in this drawer you don’t love anymore” OR “is there anything in this drawer that feels uncomfortable so you don’t want to wear it”? These will help start productive conversations that will lead to simple decisions. Do not speak for your kids, be an active listener and ask questions to help them assess what they have without judgement. See my Parents + Kids Guide To Decluttering if you’d like more help and strategies communicating effectively with your kids while decluttering (including age specific strategies).
3. CREATE A LANDING SPOT FOR OUTGROWN CLOTHING.
You’ll want to do this as a family and everyone should know where it’s located in the home. It can be a tote bag in the hallway, a box on the floor in the coat closet, a basket in the garage, etc. Regardless of what you choose, make sure everyone knows where it is and what should go inside of it.
How to use this landing spot for clothing that needs to leave the house:
Show some examples to your kids of what might go in this landing spot - like shoes they have outgrown/are too tight / a shirt that is now too short on them or too tight on their shoulders, jeans that feel too tight and are no longer comfortable.
Allow clothing items they’ve fallen out of love to land here as well - just note that sometimes items that they’re simply not wearing anymore because they don’t enjoy it is a good enough reason to have it leave the home (even if it still fits). We want to have things around us that we enjoy and are being actively used (this is the ultimate goal). This can include accessories, bags, shoes, outerwear, anything they wear on their body can be removed as needed.
Check in on this spot once a month. Aim to donate/remove these items monthly (or more frequently) if possible. Ideally we chat with our kids about what they’ve outgrown or fallen out of love with to see what needs to be replaces (or not replaced - even more important). Reviewing what’s in this donation spot is an opportunity to discuss and connect with your kids on needs, wants and what they enjoy. Clothing items that are beyond donating, giving away or selling should go to textile recycling if possible. Check locally or use a company like Trashie to responsibly recycle textiles/worn out garments.
+ Beyond this, consider a monthly scan/check in on outgrown clothing (especially when your kids are growing at their quickest rate).
+ At a bare minimum, do a quick scan/decluttering burst with kids clothing (and all the things they wear) at seasonal transitions to lighten the load in your home and assess their needs.
+ SEASONAL TRANSITIONS throughout the year to help you anchor decluttering in your rhythms: Winter to Spring, Spring to Summer, Summer to Fall, Fall to Winter - so this results in a check in 4 times a year. This will keep the ship afloat in your home and help you avoid being buried by kids clothing that is no longer being worn/enjoyed!
+ If you’d like to dive deeper into decluttering with your kids, beyond kids clothing, I want to invite you to considering my Parents + Kids Guide to Decluttering. This is for parents and kids that want to learn how to lighten the load in their home, without the overwhelm, and free up time and space to live well together. It’s an absolute game changer for families…you have my sincere word.
WHAT TO DO NEXT:
+ Check out the KIDS STUFF zone for more free resources!
+ A game-changing resource for families: Parents + Kids Guide to Decluttering is a must for any family!!
+ See all KIDS focused resource throughout the website, from blog posts to helpful tools for your home.
+ Click the follow button for @fuzzyhipposhop_kids for more KIDS decluttering tips + basics to get you unstuck in your home on instagram!
+ Download my free declutter guide to get you taking quick + easy decluttering action in your own home (linked in profile).
Decluttering With Your Kids: How To Tackle Common Roadblocks
If there was ever a HOT topic to discuss…it would be decluttering ALL the kids stuff - but more importantly, decluttering WITH your kids! I’ve had parents openly tell me it’s just not possible and that everyone ends up fighting and/or crying. So I’m on a mission to show you that there’s another way and that it IS possible to declutter WITH your kids without a tussle!
Before we layout some strategic steps to decluttering with your kids in your home, let’s get out there all the different roadblocks that might prevent you from decluttering in your home with your kids. Do any of these help you feel seen? No judgement, these are challenges popping up in EVERY home!
A few ways you might see roadblocks decluttering w/ kids surface in your home:
✔️you’re feeling like there’s no time to declutter
✔️you don’t think it’s possible because of the age of your kids
✔️you feeling sentimental about your kids growing up so it’s hard to part with things because you don’t want to let go
✔️you’re not sure how much to hold on to for siblings or future children
✔️you’re overwhelmed with where to start ✔️you don’t know how to initiate it with your kids or how to do it
✔️your kids seem to be overly attached to their stuff ✔️your kids would rather be doing something else and don’t want to do it
….and there’s so much more!
Now that we have some clarity about what might be causing physical or mental roadblocks preventing decluttering from happening in your home with your kids, let’s talk about strategies and solutions!
1. MEET YOUR KIDS WHERE THEY’RE AT.
If you want to start decluttering with your kids, you’ll want to think through where to start. For example, a 2 year cannot declutter an entire library of books on their own. Can they go through 5 books at a time with you and select their favorites? Yes, they can! Can your 5 year old declutter their entire wardrobe by themselves in 10 minutes? Likely not. We’ll dive into more specifics about what might be age appropriate for your kids next, but you can also get the full breakdown on how to do this inside my Parents + Kids Guide to Decluttering. Aim for small goals for decluttering that are realistic for your child’s age, focused around things they enjoy.
2. ADJUST YOUR EXPECTATIONS!
And I want you to really lean into this idea…because trust me, everything will go smoother once you do! If this is the first time you have ever decluttered with your kids and you’d peg them as borderline hoarders, don’t expect much. Much like a muscle your training to do something new, progress takes time. If your kid parts with even one item or is considering parting with something, consider it a win!
Some general guides for kids by age group to start decluttering with them:
Ages: 0-2 / Parents will drive the decluttering for their children. By age 2 you can start talking about clothing they have grown out of. Are those shoes too tight? Do you enjoy looking at this book still? Start weaving these simple concepts into conversations to build on for the future.
Ages: 3-5 / Everyone can take a more active roll in decluttering. Work through small groups of books, toys you see them no longer play with or have developmentally outgrown. They can declutter and remove things they don’t want anymore from their small treasures/junk drawer. Clothing they have outgrown is a quick one to identify. Take note of things they love, have grown out of, that needs to be replaced.
Ages: 6-11 / Beyond keeping their favorites or things that still fit, this is a great time to discuss the cycle of things and how to filter/intentionally bring things in the home. If you have less, you have less to manage and less to be responsible for. There’s also less clean up! Categories of items in short bursts are best to hold attention, like pants, chapter books, sports equipment, activity books, etc. Create categories that make sense for kids and your family. Let them help come up with these categories.
Ages: 12+ / As we build on the concepts from prior age groups, this age range starts to grasp the concept of how things shape their environment. How do they want their room to feel? What would make their closet easier to get dressed from? What do they want to showcase? What do they value? By working with them to answer these questions, it becomes easier to declutter when values are clarified and it’s top of mind. We filter and edit out spaces together to create a home we love and that takes care of us.
See more in depth strategies and details by age group in my Parents + Kids Guide to Decluttering.
3. MAKE THINGS FEEL SMALL TO AVOID OVERWHELM.
Think time, energy and focus. When you have time, even a small chunk, put 10 minutes on the timer and do a short decluttering burst in one drawer or one small category like shoes. Only focus on those things and put blinders on to everything else. Make the process as small and simple as possible. Choose small categories and small zones to declutter.
If you’re struggling to find small categories to declutter (because you’re feeling overwhelmed with all the stuff), create a small group to declutter out of a larger group. For example, if you have a huge book library and you want to start decluttering your stash, choose one shelf, one category of books (like nature books or non-fiction), or by color of the spine (today lets go through all the books with a blue spine only). These strategies will help the process feel ‘small’ and less overwhelming.
4. SHOW RESPECT + VALIDATION FOR YOUR KIDS WHILE DECLUTTERING TOGETHER.
When we do this, we teach our kids to trust themselves and their decisions. This skill will get fine-tuned over time and with practice. If you’re questioning a decision they’re making or they’re on the fence about something, offer to place the item in a holding area that you’ll revisit it in a month. Write it down on the calendar as a reminder to circle back. This will keep you both moving and validated. It’s also OK to ask open ended questions like “tell me why you’re ready to part with this” OR “I see you haven’t worn this in a while, is there a reason you’re hanging on to it?” You might find there’s no fight with the items and it’s easy for them to part with. Be open to the process going smoothly, especially with more practice!
Start communication about things that need to be gone through with more open ended questions that help your kids identify when something is a ‘keep’ and when something is a ‘let go of’ item. Here’s some examples of how their responses might sound in your home:
I don’t want this shirt anymore because the sleeves feel itchy.
I have other board games that are more fun to play than this one.
I’ve read these books 5 times already and I’m ready to move on.
My toes are shoved up to the top of my shoes when I’m walking.
I really like the color purple right now for clothing and not red.
I don’t like wearing skirts to school anymore.