Decluttering With Your Kids: How To Tackle Common Roadblocks
If there was ever a HOT topic to discuss…it would be decluttering ALL the kids stuff - but more importantly, decluttering WITH your kids! I’ve had parents openly tell me it’s just not possible and that everyone ends up fighting and/or crying. So I’m on a mission to show you that there’s another way and that it IS possible to declutter WITH your kids without a tussle!
Before we layout some strategic steps to decluttering with your kids in your home, let’s get out there all the different roadblocks that might prevent you from decluttering in your home with your kids. Do any of these help you feel seen? No judgement, these are challenges popping up in EVERY home!
A few ways you might see roadblocks decluttering w/ kids surface in your home:
✔️you’re feeling like there’s no time to declutter
✔️you don’t think it’s possible because of the age of your kids
✔️you feeling sentimental about your kids growing up so it’s hard to part with things because you don’t want to let go
✔️you’re not sure how much to hold on to for siblings or future children
✔️you’re overwhelmed with where to start ✔️you don’t know how to initiate it with your kids or how to do it
✔️your kids seem to be overly attached to their stuff ✔️your kids would rather be doing something else and don’t want to do it
….and there’s so much more!
Now that we have some clarity about what might be causing physical or mental roadblocks preventing decluttering from happening in your home with your kids, let’s talk about strategies and solutions!
1. MEET YOUR KIDS WHERE THEY’RE AT.
If you want to start decluttering with your kids, you’ll want to think through where to start. For example, a 2 year cannot declutter an entire library of books on their own. Can they go through 5 books at a time with you and select their favorites? Yes, they can! Can your 5 year old declutter their entire wardrobe by themselves in 10 minutes? Likely not. We’ll dive into more specifics about what might be age appropriate for your kids next, but you can also get the full breakdown on how to do this inside my Parents + Kids Guide to Decluttering. Aim for small goals for decluttering that are realistic for your child’s age, focused around things they enjoy.
2. ADJUST YOUR EXPECTATIONS!
And I want you to really lean into this idea…because trust me, everything will go smoother once you do! If this is the first time you have ever decluttered with your kids and you’d peg them as borderline hoarders, don’t expect much. Much like a muscle your training to do something new, progress takes time. If your kid parts with even one item or is considering parting with something, consider it a win!
Some general guides for kids by age group to start decluttering with them:
Ages: 0-2 / Parents will drive the decluttering for their children. By age 2 you can start talking about clothing they have grown out of. Are those shoes too tight? Do you enjoy looking at this book still? Start weaving these simple concepts into conversations to build on for the future.
Ages: 3-5 / Everyone can take a more active roll in decluttering. Work through small groups of books, toys you see them no longer play with or have developmentally outgrown. They can declutter and remove things they don’t want anymore from their small treasures/junk drawer. Clothing they have outgrown is a quick one to identify. Take note of things they love, have grown out of, that needs to be replaced.
Ages: 6-11 / Beyond keeping their favorites or things that still fit, this is a great time to discuss the cycle of things and how to filter/intentionally bring things in the home. If you have less, you have less to manage and less to be responsible for. There’s also less clean up! Categories of items in short bursts are best to hold attention, like pants, chapter books, sports equipment, activity books, etc. Create categories that make sense for kids and your family. Let them help come up with these categories.
Ages: 12+ / As we build on the concepts from prior age groups, this age range starts to grasp the concept of how things shape their environment. How do they want their room to feel? What would make their closet easier to get dressed from? What do they want to showcase? What do they value? By working with them to answer these questions, it becomes easier to declutter when values are clarified and it’s top of mind. We filter and edit out spaces together to create a home we love and that takes care of us.
See more in depth strategies and details by age group in my Parents + Kids Guide to Decluttering.
3. MAKE THINGS FEEL SMALL TO AVOID OVERWHELM.
Think time, energy and focus. When you have time, even a small chunk, put 10 minutes on the timer and do a short decluttering burst in one drawer or one small category like shoes. Only focus on those things and put blinders on to everything else. Make the process as small and simple as possible. Choose small categories and small zones to declutter.
If you’re struggling to find small categories to declutter (because you’re feeling overwhelmed with all the stuff), create a small group to declutter out of a larger group. For example, if you have a huge book library and you want to start decluttering your stash, choose one shelf, one category of books (like nature books or non-fiction), or by color of the spine (today lets go through all the books with a blue spine only). These strategies will help the process feel ‘small’ and less overwhelming.
4. SHOW RESPECT + VALIDATION FOR YOUR KIDS WHILE DECLUTTERING TOGETHER.
When we do this, we teach our kids to trust themselves and their decisions. This skill will get fine-tuned over time and with practice. If you’re questioning a decision they’re making or they’re on the fence about something, offer to place the item in a holding area that you’ll revisit it in a month. Write it down on the calendar as a reminder to circle back. This will keep you both moving and validated. It’s also OK to ask open ended questions like “tell me why you’re ready to part with this” OR “I see you haven’t worn this in a while, is there a reason you’re hanging on to it?” You might find there’s no fight with the items and it’s easy for them to part with. Be open to the process going smoothly, especially with more practice!
Start communication about things that need to be gone through with more open ended questions that help your kids identify when something is a ‘keep’ and when something is a ‘let go of’ item. Here’s some examples of how their responses might sound in your home:
I don’t want this shirt anymore because the sleeves feel itchy.
I have other board games that are more fun to play than this one.
I’ve read these books 5 times already and I’m ready to move on.
My toes are shoved up to the top of my shoes when I’m walking.
I really like the color purple right now for clothing and not red.
I don’t like wearing skirts to school anymore.
