I Unexpectedly Had Surgery - Here's What I Learned About Myself + My Home

My health took an unexpected turn for the worse this summer and it completely caught me off guard. Here’s how it went down and what I learned about myself and home in the chaos.

The summer started off just as expected, with all the normal summer vibes in full force. I cruised into it with a pause on my business, to focus more intentionally on time with my kids, without the pressure of achievement/deadlines looming (incredibly grateful to adjust my work schedule around their yearly rhythms).

Morning walks, bike rides, park visits, VBS week to spiritually reset, beading fun + classes to learn new skills at my friend Abi’s store - Bead Made Beads, kicking the soccer ball around, meeting up with friends in the early mornings before the heat ramped up, eating our weight in ice pops, watching the cucumbers / tomatoes / herbs / flowers take off in the garden, making pickles, a few soccer camps, swimming / all the water things, loads of trips to the library…you name it, the summer was indeed so GOOD.

Colorful summer beading vibes.

Learning how to make Morse Code bracelets.

I’m purposely leaving out some details here, but come late June, I had some pain in my upper abdomen that I thought was related to a stomach muscle strain. Back in May, I was convinced I had strained something lifting weights. I’m an avid kettle bell person and at the time, I worked them into my early morning work outs 4-5 times a week. So a muscle strain, while coaching two youth soccer teams, was definitely not out of the question. Over the next few months I would have these “muscle flare ups” as a I called them, that felt like an intense stomach cramp. I just had to ride them out until it “released”. I would recline in a chair, sip water, take deep breaths and put a heating pad on it. It would last anywhere from 45 minutes to 6-8hrs +. I only had this experience a few times and assumed this strained muscle had gotten aggravated by something I was doing, so I down shifted all my weights and changed my workout patterns.

Weeks would go by at a time without a hint of any issues. Life felt completely normal. My sleep would improve and things seemed to be healing. Then come July, things started to ramp up again. These “episodes” were becoming more frequent. At one point, I started to rethink what might be going on. I did some research and starting considering the idea that I might have a peptic ulcer that was infected. I started paying attention to the foods I was eating to see if there was any correlation or particular triggers. I stopped eating most dairy, did not take any medications for pain (NSAIDS), avoided spicy or greasy foods and had very little caffeine. We already cook a lot at home so it was easy to navigate avoiding certain foods because I knew what was going into everything I was eating. Surely I could get to the bottom of this with these adjustments.

Our family escaped for a week to the hill country area of Kyle, south of Austin, for several days in the middle of July. When I say escaped, I mean that literally. My husband was also having some health issues as well at the time (I’ll spare you those details) and I was in complete confusion as to what was going on with me. But this week, we all got a break. We took a deep breath. We picked up my parents early on Monday and headed out for the week to rest and relax. It was a wonderful week of being in country isolation, an infinite amount of birds singing, continuous breezes, sunshine, swimming and inspiring architecture. We needed this time so much. We had no clue what was coming next.

Drank my matcha here for the week + listened to the birds all week. Heaven.

The coolest covered salt water pool I ever did see at the Plant at Kyle.

Nature showing off in the Texas hill country.

When we got back, by the end of the weekend, my episodes continued to get worse, regardless of what I was eating. My concern started to grow exponentially. One morning I called my general practitioner just to be evaluated, even though I didn’t have a ton of concrete information to share. This was in the middle /later in July, and even after telling them I was having bad reactions to a suspected stomach ulcer, I still couldn’t get into to see anyone until August 7th, which was almost 3 weeks after my call into the them. It felt like an impossible stretch of time. There was zero sense of urgency.

On July 20th, I had one of the worst “episodes” to date. I had extreme stomach pain that made me throw up on and off for hours on end. It started in the morning when I got up, things leveled out for a few hours, then went right back into it. It was completely debilitating. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t get comfortable. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t care for my family. I knew this in no way was sustainable, yet I still had to wait several weeks to get into the doctor. I was extremely worried, concerned, and also trying to get my kids ready to go back to school…can’t stop the mom duties.

After I got through that last round, things leveled out a bit and I had some hope. I had maybe 1-2 minor “episodes” but I was able to work through them and keep going. I wanted my kids to have a great end to summer. I didn’t want whatever was going on with me to get in the way.

Now let’s fast forward a bit to Friday August 1st. I had just spent the previous day in the hospital with my husband while he waited for an MRI and for a procedure to be scheduled (again, going to spare you the details). When I woke up that Friday morning, the pain I experienced was the worst to date (some of the worst in my entire life) and it was all over my abdomen, not just isolated to one spot. I had barely eaten the night before because it was a late night picking up kids staying with family while I was at the hospital, etc. I was suppose to go up to the hospital for my husband to have 2 procedures that day and I couldn’t move…I couldn’t stop throwing up (among other symptoms) and I felt like someone had poured acid inside my body coupled with stabbing pain. Nothing about this was normal. I talked with my father in law (while in the fetal position on the floor of my bathroom) and asked him to take over with Luke at the hospital. I debated calling 911 but I was worried about my kids and where they would go and who would take care of them. I got through an intense wave, texted my mom that I needed her to make the 3 hour drive up to help me, and she did, no questions asked. Thank you God for a mom that cares deeply and will drop anything to help her kids. I am so grateful.

My oldest daughter played “mom” that day and took care of herself and her little sister. She also frequently checked in on me. She made meals for them. She entertained them. She played with her. She read with her. Gosh my kids are amazing. I sat in the recliner in my bedroom all day, trying to sip on water but couldn’t keep anything down. To say I was scared was such an understatement. I felt a huge sigh of relief when my mom arrived that afternoon and I knew my kids would be taken care of for the evening.

The next morning, August 2nd (also my 17th wedding anniversary, HA!), I got up early, scheduled an appointment at a local urgent care for 8am, and dragged myself there. I had no energy, no stamina and very little hope that I was going to get much help. But I had to try. Luke was still in the hospital recovering for his two procedures from the day before. With my mom around to help with my girls, I was free to try to run around and attempt to get myself some help. Once I got to urgent care, we did blood labs and those were sent off. The doctor also gave me a referral for a full abdominal ultrasound for the stomach pain I was experiencing. Between the labs and ultrasound being scheduled, the ball was rolling. I felt like maybe we were getting somewhere. By Monday morning, I was able to get in for the abdominal imaging. I pushed for a rush on the results and thankfully after many conversations with people in person, phone calls and SO much waiting/dropped phone calls (and don’t get me started on that obnoxious hip hop style elevator music I listened to on hold during 90% of my medical phone calls), I started to get some answers.

Somewhere in this mess, my husband came home from the hospital. I assumed some care duties to help him with post surgery healing. It was not glamorous but I did what needed to be done. We kept the ship afloat.

On Tuesday morning, I went back to urgent care for them to give me the imaging and blood panel results because nothing would load virtually in my account like they told me it would (I just love when technology works completely against you in a desperate time).

The guy at the front desk handed me some papers. ‘Extreme cholelithiasis’ is what I read halfway down the top paper in the stack he handed me. I pointed to this term and asked the person at the front desk “what does this mean?” One of the medical techs came over and confirmed the definition on the results and she said to me the words “SEVERE GALLSTONES”.

I cussed out loud (something like HOLY SH**). This is 100% out of character for me by the way. Not an avid cusser by nature. I could NOT believe what I was hearing. I could not have been more caught off guard. I left with my paperwork completely stunned, feeling like I was in an alternate universe.

The next 48 hours were a blur, as I waited for my August 7th appointment (that I had ironically made several weeks ago thinking I had an ulcer). Thursday eventually came, I fasted for my next round of labs, and got a full assessment with all the new information I had brought to my nurse practitioner (the only person I could get in to see) and got an immediate referral for a surgeon. I called them in the car after the appointment.

The first surgeon they referred me to couldn’t see me for a full month. I ask for any other surgeon available, who was also well known in the surgery community, and I was able to get in the next day for a pre-surgery appointment. Done. At the appointment, the surgeon told me I had 2 options - that I could “deal with it” (that I ONLY had 5 gallstones in my gallbladder, HA!) OR have my gallbladder removed (which was recommended based on intensity of my symptoms). Well folks, those “only 5 gallstones” nearly killed me. So the decision was simple. My gallbladder removal surgery was scheduled for the next available slot with my new surgeon on August 19, 2025.

Feeling glamorous getting ready for surgery after an extra 1.5 hour delay.

Week+ post surgery check in. I found new gray hairs. Yay for me! I earned those!

I went on a low/no fat eating regiment to prep my body for surgery and to deter it from any more gallbladder attacks. (I’m still eating in this camp now to let my body adjust to my new normal, a few weeks post surgery).

Fast forward to my surgery day and everything went as planned. Thank you God for this boring, uneventful surgery day! As I type this, I am one day away from my post op appointment and I’m on the mend. I’m easing back into things and my incisions are healing as well expected. These battle scars will leaving a lasting impression on me, that’s for sure. We’re getting on the other side of this mess.

But it’s been SCARY as hell. I will not sugar coat it.

WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT MYSELF

• Asking for help can feel deflating and debilitating, yet I had no choice. I let my mother fully step in when I needed her, I allowed my father in law to care for my husband in the hospital when I couldn’t be there, I let me kids do more than their fair share around the house when I couldn’t do much of anything, I let friends take things off my plate daily, I said no to a lot.

• I am only 1 person and I have limits. Again, this is not enjoyable to admit. I’ve slowly been swirling around with this idea over the past few years, but it has come to a head the last month. We cannot be “on” all the time, deep rest feels hard, and our health is essential.

• I care very deeply for others and try to show up for them loyally as much as I can, so others were willing to do the same for me. I’m so grateful for the friendships and relationships in my life - particularly the people who step up for you apologetically during hard moments, when they aren’t sure how to help, but they still show up. That’s the type of person I want to be.

• You’re going to be disappointed by people. Some people know you’re going through a hard time and don’t want to “bother you”, yet their silence of not reaching out is far worse. Also, some people aren’t privy to the knowledge of knowing you’re having a hard time and that makes it clear who you can lean on and who you can’t. Not everyone can be in your inner circle and that’s OK.

Self-serve pantry, all day everyday. Always trying to make it easy for anyone to see everything + grab what’s needed.

Our mantle is visible through most of the home. It’s a place where I’ve tried to create visual cues of calm + cozy.

WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT MY HOME

• My home is decluttered and organized enough for other people to take over, keep the ship afloat, find things, make food and also take care of themselves in the home. How do we do this? I’ll circle back to this and break it down in a future blog post.

• Minimal cleaning was done (and no one cared about it for good reason) for almost 3 weeks and the house was still easy to maintain and not a total hot mess / laundry, dishes, wiping down the counters sometimes and the occasional sweeping of the floor kept things functional.

• My home is set up for other people to easily take over and help. As my kids have gotten older, I’ve constantly redesigned systems and locations of things to allow more independence from them with food, clean up, projects, creating, laundry, etc. They could chip in easily and take on a lot of tasks because the home sets them up for success.

• My mother, our extended stay house guest for several weeks before and after my surgery, could settled into our home rhythms and be taken care of and comfortable without much effort from me. Her basics were taken care of - a clean bed, bathroom space, a spot for her clothing, access to laundry if needed, she knew where the french press was to make her morning coffee, food was available and easy to find in the fridge and pantry, etc. The home was not a chaotic obstacle for a house guest. She could assist during a stressful time but still be comfortable.

TAKE AWAYS FOR YOUR OWN LIFE + HOME

• Listen to your body, early and often. Don’t spend too much time gathering lots of information so you’re “ready” for a doctors visit. If something feels off, go see someone, even if you have to see several doctors. Just do it.

• Fight for yourself always and be your own advocate. The number of times I had to ask more questions and not accept what I was being told was astonishing. Listen. Ask questions. Make the phone calls. Show up in person to keep things moving. It’s worth it.

• Ask for help and know you’re worth receiving the help.

• Create systems in your home that allow for the ebbs and flows of life’s chaos to keep you and your family grounded and taken care of when inside your home.

• Have extremely simple, nourishing foods on hand at all times that take little to no effort to prepare. Oatmeal, potatoes, sweet potatoes, cereal, raw veggies, fruit, eggs, toast, etc. Create a list that works for you and your home so you can stay fed even when you’re not well or just completely exhausted.

• Remove physical obstacles in your home that make daily tasks hard to do. Get rid of extra “stuff” that doesn’t help you live well or do your daily home routines easily. These things drain your time and your energy.

• Edit ruthlessly. Your thoughts. Your belongings. Your time. Yours spaces.

Sending you lots of love and hugs. Thanks again to everyone who checked in on me. You are wonderful.

See you in the next post.

*big hugs* // Kristin

Decluttering With Your Kids: How To Tackle Common Roadblocks

If there was ever a HOT topic to discuss…it would be decluttering ALL the kids stuff - but more importantly, decluttering WITH your kids! I’ve had parents openly tell me it’s just not possible and that everyone ends up fighting and/or crying. So I’m on a mission to show you that there’s another way and that it IS possible to declutter WITH your kids without a tussle!

Before we layout some strategic steps to decluttering with your kids in your home, let’s get out there all the different roadblocks that might prevent you from decluttering in your home with your kids. Do any of these help you feel seen? No judgement, these are challenges popping up in EVERY home!

A few ways you might see roadblocks decluttering w/ kids surface in your home:

✔️you’re feeling like there’s no time to declutter
✔️you don’t think it’s possible because of the age of your kids
✔️you feeling sentimental about your kids growing up so it’s hard to part with things because you don’t want to let go
✔️you’re not sure how much to hold on to for siblings or future children
✔️you’re overwhelmed with where to start ✔️you don’t know how to initiate it with your kids or how to do it
✔️your kids seem to be overly attached to their stuff ✔️your kids would rather be doing something else and don’t want to do it

….and there’s so much more!

Now that we have some clarity about what might be causing physical or mental roadblocks preventing decluttering from happening in your home with your kids, let’s talk about strategies and solutions!

1. MEET YOUR KIDS WHERE THEY’RE AT.

If you want to start decluttering with your kids, you’ll want to think through where to start. For example, a 2 year cannot declutter an entire library of books on their own. Can they go through 5 books at a time with you and select their favorites? Yes, they can! Can your 5 year old declutter their entire wardrobe by themselves in 10 minutes? Likely not. We’ll dive into more specifics about what might be age appropriate for your kids next, but you can also get the full breakdown on how to do this inside my Parents + Kids Guide to Decluttering. Aim for small goals for decluttering that are realistic for your child’s age, focused around things they enjoy.

2. ADJUST YOUR EXPECTATIONS!

And I want you to really lean into this idea…because trust me, everything will go smoother once you do! If this is the first time you have ever decluttered with your kids and you’d peg them as borderline hoarders, don’t expect much. Much like a muscle your training to do something new, progress takes time. If your kid parts with even one item or is considering parting with something, consider it a win!

Some general guides for kids by age group to start decluttering with them:

Ages: 0-2 / Parents will drive the decluttering for their children. By age 2 you can start talking about clothing they have grown out of. Are those shoes too tight? Do you enjoy looking at this book still? Start weaving these simple concepts into conversations to build on for the future.

Ages: 3-5 / Everyone can take a more active roll in decluttering. Work through small groups of books, toys you see them no longer play with or have developmentally outgrown. They can declutter and remove things they don’t want anymore from their small treasures/junk drawer. Clothing they have outgrown is a quick one to identify. Take note of things they love, have grown out of, that needs to be replaced.

Ages: 6-11 / Beyond keeping their favorites or things that still fit, this is a great time to discuss the cycle of things and how to filter/intentionally bring things in the home. If you have less, you have less to manage and less to be responsible for. There’s also less clean up! Categories of items in short bursts are best to hold attention, like pants, chapter books, sports equipment, activity books, etc. Create categories that make sense for kids and your family. Let them help come up with these categories.

Ages: 12+ / As we build on the concepts from prior age groups, this age range starts to grasp the concept of how things shape their environment. How do they want their room to feel? What would make their closet easier to get dressed from? What do they want to showcase? What do they value? By working with them to answer these questions, it becomes easier to declutter when values are clarified and it’s top of mind. We filter and edit out spaces together to create a home we love and that takes care of us.

See more in depth strategies and details by age group in my Parents + Kids Guide to Decluttering.

3. MAKE THINGS FEEL SMALL TO AVOID OVERWHELM.

Think time, energy and focus. When you have time, even a small chunk, put 10 minutes on the timer and do a short decluttering burst in one drawer or one small category like shoes. Only focus on those things and put blinders on to everything else. Make the process as small and simple as possible. Choose small categories and small zones to declutter.

If you’re struggling to find small categories to declutter (because you’re feeling overwhelmed with all the stuff), create a small group to declutter out of a larger group. For example, if you have a huge book library and you want to start decluttering your stash, choose one shelf, one category of books (like nature books or non-fiction), or by color of the spine (today lets go through all the books with a blue spine only). These strategies will help the process feel ‘small’ and less overwhelming.

4. SHOW RESPECT + VALIDATION FOR YOUR KIDS WHILE DECLUTTERING TOGETHER.

When we do this, we teach our kids to trust themselves and their decisions. This skill will get fine-tuned over time and with practice. If you’re questioning a decision they’re making or they’re on the fence about something, offer to place the item in a holding area that you’ll revisit it in a month. Write it down on the calendar as a reminder to circle back. This will keep you both moving and validated. It’s also OK to ask open ended questions like “tell me why you’re ready to part with this” OR “I see you haven’t worn this in a while, is there a reason you’re hanging on to it?” You might find there’s no fight with the items and it’s easy for them to part with. Be open to the process going smoothly, especially with more practice!

Start communication about things that need to be gone through with more open ended questions that help your kids identify when something is a ‘keep’ and when something is a ‘let go of’ item. Here’s some examples of how their responses might sound in your home:

• I don’t want this shirt anymore because the sleeves feel itchy.

• I have other board games that are more fun to play than this one.

• I’ve read these books 5 times already and I’m ready to move on.

• My toes are shoved up to the top of my shoes when I’m walking.

• I really like the color purple right now for clothing and not red.

• I don’t like wearing skirts to school anymore.

Their reasoning for keeping or parting with something will be raw and straight forward. Do not expect them to use adult logic and don’t force it on them either. Keep the dialog on their terms, in their words and be sure to do more listening than talking!

5. INFUSE FUN INTO YOUR DECLUTTERING!

My favorite thing to do with my kids while decluttering is let them be the DJ and pick the music. If both kids are decluttering, they each get to DJ for 5-10 minute blocks. We also bring in baskets, boxes or bags that the kids can use to put their decluttered items into that turns more into a game where they’re shooting things into a basket! Find ways to have fun along the way, and plan a reward in at the end after progress is made - maybe a trip to get an ice cream or a slush, or money in their piggy bank towards their new shoes their saving up for. Decluttering can become part of family chores/responsibilities in a family economy to learn tangible skills about money (one idea).

Don’t underestimate the value of bringing games into the mix when you’re decluttering! One idea I’ve rigorously tested in my own home is a bowl full of declutter topics to pull from for a few quick bursts of decluttering. Make a list of a few categories like: shoes, books, earrings, fiction books, balls, outdoor toys, etc. Anythings goes! Get creative! Ask your kids what topics should go into the bowl to give them more control. Write topics on a small piece of paper, fold them up and drop them in the bowl. Let one of your kids pick one, put 10 minutes on the timer (and turn on some good music) and go! If you have several kids, they can each taking a turn picking a decluttering topic from the bowl. I promise it’s fun! Have a box or bag ready for them to drop donations in. Find a lot more ideas on different ways to declutter in your home in my Parents + Kids Guide To Decluttering.

But whatever you’re doing, keep it light, keep it fun, maybe add some snacks in too for maximum success! You’ve got this! And make sure to check out even more free resources HERE in our Kids/Family Zone!

P.S. If you’d like to learn ALL the ins and outs of how to declutter with your kids (without the overwhelm + fighting), how to do this by age group, what exactly to say to them to get them decluttering, how to know what to keep and what not to, lots of examples on how to facilitate the process and so much more, please check out my Parents + Kids Guide to Decluttering.

Bonus organizing tips inside + money saving tips in this guide too you’re going to LOVE! I created this digital guide specifically for struggling parents/mamas who want to learn these skills and stop struggling with a chaotic home that’s drowning in kids stuff. It is possible + I can’t wait to show you how to do it HERE! It’s time to have your time, energy + sanity back!

WHAT TO DO NEXT:

+ Check out the KIDS STUFF zone for more free resources!

+ A game-changing resource for families: Parents + Kids Guide to Decluttering is a must for any family!!

+ Click the follow button for @fuzzyhipposhop_kids for more KIDS decluttering tips + basics to get you unstuck in your home on instagram!

+ Download my free declutter guide to get you taking quick + easy decluttering action in your own home (linked in profile).

How Architecture School Prepared Me For Motherhood

I had no clue when I was in architecture school (decades ago) how much of my day to day would translate directly into my life as a mother. Did it prepare me for everything? Of course not. Nothing can prepare you for motherhood, and I mean this in the best possible way. I could never have fathomed the ride I was about to take and the joys I would experience having children. I hope you’ll join me (regardless of your seasons of life right now) and delight in this group of life lessons that originally surfaced in architecture school, and has since resurfaced in my first 8 years of my motherhood journey. And if you’re not in the throws of motherhood, not to worry. Many of these ideas will be fitting for your life as well, regardless of your current life season/focus, so stick with us!

Me in literal reflection at Frank Gehry’s Walt Disney Concert Hall in LA. Here I was at the end of my 1st trimester with my second child + it was the first time I had ever traveled alone away from my toddler.

Your sleep will be compromised (at least for a bit).

Architecture School Perspective: During architecture school, pulling all-nighters happened frequently towards the end of big studio projects/deadlines. The sleep was poor, you felt like a zombie, and somehow things were getting done, even though it was hard to remember a lot of it. Note: I’m not recommending that you do this, in fact I got much wiser in graduate school and barely had any all-nighters and the results were much better both in my health and in my project quality! Your design studio projects feel a lot like a growing baby that you’re nurturing and paying continuous, acute attention to. Ironically at the terminus of the project, while you feel like you’ve birthed something profound, you simultaneously then must send it (your design project) out into the world for judgment and scrutiny. This now hits home.

Motherhood Perspective: The needs are high. The feedings and care demands of a baby are HIGH, resulting is less and choppy sleep. Duty calls. You have to step up and get the job done, whether you have help around or not. The jacked up sleep demands while caring for babies and young children last far longer than any project deadline in school. And I got to stop caring for that “baby” AKA “studio project” after my design presentation. I got to walk away from it. Not so much in motherhood. Which leads my to our next topic of needing breaks…

You need to take breaks often.

Architecture School Perspective: If I could tell the former architecture student version of myself one thing, it would be to take more breaks. Your brain and your body need breaks to reset. Your creativity/cognitive function greatly improves after you step away from what you’re focusing on, look at new things/surroundings and then return back. You think you don’t have the time and that your project is going to suffer if you walk away for any amount of time. So many problems and design issues were often resolved after I’d step away, take a break and come back later when my brain had a break.

Motherhood Perspective: This is 100% true as well in motherhood, even though it feels hard to take breaks for so many reasons, unnecessary guilt being one of them. You feel guilty because you think you’re needed all the time (which is often true) but even in these extremely needy phases with children, you cannot ignore your need for taking a break from care-giving. Sometimes taking a break is not by formally leaving the house, but by stepping outside, doing something completely different than caring for others, like water coloring or making yourself a fancy coffee. These all count. Asking for help from others counts. Sitting in silence/quiet for 5 minutes counts. These all help you reset. They are needed. They are essential. You have to intentionally take them or your body will force a break on you by way of sickness or mental health struggles.

Delight in as many details as possible.

Architecture School Perspective: The details that create “good” environments in architecture, interiors and in all design are layered and vast. The details add up to make the entire design and ignoring some results in “holes” in the project. Glaring areas that were missed opportunities where it looked like you forgot it was even there. Every studio professor will find those “holes” by the way. And odds are you already knew they were there. The details of how a user interacts with a space are critical and define the quality of user experience on a small and large scale. The details are everything.

Motherhood Perspective: Your world shrinks down rapidly to LOTS of details as a mother. It becomes ever so apparent in moments when your baby picks up the one hair ball you missed sweeping and you have to finger swipe it out of their mouth so they don’t choke. It is clear just how much the details matter. One thing I learned when my kids were very young (and even now) is how little I noticed before they were around. Our adult brain likes to gloss over the details of the day. And all those details, if we choose to engage with them and delight in them make for a pretty great day and existence. Ignore the details and the day becomes quite dull, colorless and bland. But please note: you will NOT be able to delight in ALL the details. Some are not pleasant at all and still need your attention. They are not in fact enjoyable, at all, and that’s OK.

Connect before you critique.

Architecture School Perspective: I was always so grateful for the studio professors that took the time to understand where I was at with my project, to meet me right where I was in the design process and offer support. To learn the direction I was trying to go, where my hang ups were, what decisions I was trying to make, and how I was planning to “tell the story” of my design concept. If they ignored this step, it was difficult for them to offer genuine mentorship for my project goals. Ignore the design student’s design goals and you ignore their process and offer advice that makes it your own, not theirs.

Motherhood Perspective: Meeting my children exactly where they’re at on a daily basis has completely changed my perspective on parenting. Telling myself “their story” and “where are they right this moment” helps better direct me on how I can offer support or stay on the sidelines until I’m needed. If I assert myself too much, their story becomes mine. Their learning journey becomes skewed. Their developmental timeline becomes someone else’s, not their own. I’ve learned to give breathing room while remaining close, even though it’s not always easy to do so.

Always question: does it need to be here or not?

Architecture School Perspective: I had a professor in graduate school that requested that we ask this question, “does it need to be here or not” throughout every design project. It became one of the most impactful things anyone ever said to me in design school (and down the road as it relates to my entire life). He would asks us to look closely at all the elements of our project, whether it was a building, an interior, a product, then go through each part and cover one element up. Then ask yourself, is it better or worse? Is the design lacking if it isn’t there? Is it better if it’s not there? I have used this assessment tool in all my designs since then and still do in my business, in graphic design projects and in designing spaces in my own home. And guess what, IT WORKS!

Motherhood Perspective: In motherhood, many times, there’s too much and everything seems important. A lot of needs are happening at one time. The list of “must-dos” seems long and endless. I have found over the years that when I actually sit down to assess this list, many things are truly not needed. They can wait or can be removed completely. They don’t need to happen right now. I’ve also applied this idea to the spaces in my own home, particularly with my children. Rooms that have felt stressful and overwhelming had too much in them. They needed to be intentionally decluttered. Things had to assessed and some items slowly removed to make way more living. It’s been a reminder that the greatest gift I can give my kids is space to move, explore and create in. Not by adding in more things, just open space. In times of overwhelm, I ask myself “does it need to be here?” Or “is this essential for the livelihood of myself, my family or my children?” Many times the answer is “no.” Sometimes it is “yes.” But learning to not only edit our physical space and how we use our time is life giving and life saving.

You’ll learn more simply by doing.

Architecture School Perspective: One thing I learned early on was that ZERO of my projects got better or more evolved if I just stared at them. I had to get over the uncomfortable phase of not having any or all of the answers upfront and just start somewhere. I had to move past the fear of doing things wrong, otherwise I would simply stay stuck. As I dug into each project and spent more time with it, the more “answers” seemed to emerged out of thin air. Decisions became easier to navigate and the design vision began to take over, making decisions for me it often seemed. The design concept became so clear that it was easy to say no to lots of exciting ideas that looked sparkly and enticing. It became easy to say no to things that would not serve the design well and would take away from the end goals.

Motherhood Perspective: For many of us, you are sent home with your baby after mere days and the learning curve is a STEEP dive into the unknown. I remember realizing that I hadn’t changed a diaper until I had my own child, even though I had done lots of aunt duties in the years past. I watched my husband jump in and change what seemed like all of the diapers in the hospital while I was in a postpartum fog. He learned by doing. He had no prior experience. Over the next few days when I was home with a newborn, I had no choice but to learn by doing. The learning and the wisdom came from the doing. Not from being fearful of doing things wrong or imperfectly. What was most important at any given moment became clearer and clearer. Things that weren’t essential to this time did not make the cut or were revisited later. This idea is still true everyday with my family. I am learning everyday by doing life WITH them. I often tell my kids that I am learning how to do LOTS of things right along side them. We’ll figure it out together by “doing”.

Now’s your turn. Which one of these ideas resonates with you most in your current season of life? Please tell us below!

More resources for your life + home:

Free Declutter Guide, Donate Your Decluttered Items For Good Links, Learn the basics of Decluttering, Schedule Decluttering Support